Behind his Lens Read online

  Behind His Lens

  Copyright @ 2017 by Beth Michele

  Interior Design by Champagne Formats

  Cover Design by Letitia Hasser, RBA Designs

  Editing by Chloe Giordan

  Proofreading by Virginia Tesi Carey

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing by Beth Michele. Warning: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000. Please purchase only authorized electronic or print editions and do not participate in or encourage the electronic piracy of copyrighted material. Your support is appreciated.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owner.

  All rights reserved.

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Also by Beth Michele

  Synopsis

  Note from the author

  Epigraph

  Dedication

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Epilogue

  Sneak Peak of Chasing the High

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  Also by Beth Michele

  M/F Romance

  Love Love

  Lovely

  Scarred Beautiful

  Finding Autumn

  REX

  For the Love of Raindrops

  Life In Reverse

  M/M Romance

  Chasing the High

  Behind His Lens

  Sometimes life throws us curve balls.

  Jake Donovan was mine.

  It was supposed to be a one-time thing. A birthday gift for sexy Willow. He wasn’t supposed to have this effect on me.

  But he did.

  He wasn’t supposed to consume me.

  But he did.

  He wasn’t supposed to touch me in places no other man had before.

  But he did.

  And I wanted him to do it again.

  Dear readers:

  This book started out as a short story that I was going to write under a pen name. I decided to make it a novella and release it under my own name.

  It’s fun, fast-paced, and dirty. Yes, it’s definitely dirty.

  I hope you enjoy it.

  “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

  —Ralph Waldo Emerson

  For Delilah P…and you know why.

  Fifteen Years Old

  “Go wide,” I shouted, throwing the football to Tyler in our pseudo football field, also known as my backyard. Tyler caught the ball and gripped it tightly in one hand, holding it close to his body. He was laughing, though, and that slowed his stride.

  “It’s go long, you idiot.”

  I narrowed my eyes from a distance that was too far away for him to pick up.

  And then I charged.

  He may have been more sports-minded than I was, but what I lacked in football knowledge, I made up for in speed. I caught Tyler halfway and tackled him, sending the football flying from his hand. “What was that you were saying?”

  I had his arms pinned beneath me, his heavy breaths blowing against my chin. I was breathing heavy, too, but for a different reason. Maybe it was the dimples denting his cheeks, or the way his mouth curled higher on one side. But while most boys were noticing that Stacy Kerwin had a great rack, I was noticing the gold in Tyler’s deep brown eyes.

  He burst out laughing. “Okay, you got me. Now get off.”

  Shaking my Tyler-induced trance, I rolled away from him. I needed to get a grip. But with every day that passed, I found myself thinking about him more and more. I didn’t understand it. Girls were cool and I liked them too. But…Tyler and I, I don’t know, we—

  “Earth to Colt?”

  “Huh?”

  “I asked if you’re going to the dance on Friday.”

  I shrugged, forcing my brain to shift gears. To think about anything else. Because I knew whatever was going on with me was one-sided and would have to stay that way. “Hadn’t really thought about it.” It wasn’t the truth, but the truth wasn’t something I was willing to face.

  He smacked me on the arm. “You have to go. Ask someone.” His brow lifted. “I’m going with Stacy Kerwin.”

  Of course he was.

  “Yeah, she’s cool,” I mumbled, trudging over to where the football was buried in the grass and scooping it up from the ground.

  A minute later, he appeared beside me. “Her friend Rianne is nice, maybe you could ask her and we could double?”

  Rianne was cute and kind of quirky, and I did like that. But the problem was, I liked what was standing in front of me a whole lot more. And if I had to watch Tyler and Stacy suck face all night—that would not be fun.

  I pressed the football against his chest. “I’ll think about it.”

  “Don’t think too hard. You don’t want to burst your brain.”

  “Funny.”

  Tyler tossed the football in the air and caught it with one hand. “So, you and Nate still coming over for video games tonight or what?”

  “Yeah, we’ll be there.” I bent to swipe my backpack from the grass and slung it over my shoulder. Reaching into the front pocket, I pulled out the Doritos and tore open the bag.

  “Get ready for an ass whooping,” he added as I started to walk away. I glanced over my shoulder to find him smirking. I wanted to kiss that crooked smile right off his damn face.

  But I knew I never would.

  Ten Years Later

  “What do you mean? Two guys?” Was she serious? Why did the thought of that make me so damn insecure? And why did it bring to mind the one person I’d been able to put out of my head for years? I painted on a smile like what she said didn’t bother me in the least. “Where is this coming from?”

  “Colt.” She dragged her tongue along the length of my jaw and my dick was hard again. “It’s just a fantasy really. I could never be with two men, but…” Even though what she and I had was fairly casual—I’d use the term girlfriend loosely—her hesitation still made me fucking antsy. “I have to be honest and say that the thought of watching you with another guy, well, it turns me on.” She regarded my shocked expression. It was hard to hide the truth. “I knew you’d be surprised.” She shrugged, circling my nipple with the tip of her finger. “But I can’t say I don’t think about it. Because I do. And, since our relationship is kind of open,” her grin was devilish, “I fully support it.”

  I grabbed her hand to halt her movement. “You know I want to make you happy. Except, that just isn’t my thing, you know?” Right? Right. I leaned forward to catch her lip between my teeth. “But if it was, I’d do it in a heartbeat,” I whispered against her mouth, “for you.” I rolled her on top of me,
gliding her wet pussy along my shaft. “But right now, I’d like to do something else for you.”

  “Oh yeah?” She moaned, grinding her hot center against my dick. “And what’s that?”

  “I want to taste your sweet pussy. I want my tongue so far inside of you that the only person you’re thinking about, is me. The only person you remember,” I flicked my tongue against her taut pink nipple, “is me.”

  Her eyes glittered with her smile. “I like the sound of that.”

  “Sit on my face, babe.”

  She slid her pussy across my length, teasing me, rubbing her plump slit back and forth over my cock. Her gaze intent on mine, watching, as she began to get herself off. She was so fucking wet and it made me lightheaded with want. Impatient. Starving for her. I crooked a finger to gesture her closer. Wanting to inhale her sweetness. Lick her until she came all over my face.

  She eased along my stomach, her slick arousal spreading over my abdomen, my chest, and finally up to my mouth. And then, I was feeling greedy. I squeezed her ass and wedged her thighs further apart, slipping my tongue inside her wet heat, letting the taste and scent of her wash away our earlier discussion.

  “Oh God, Colt, that feels so good,” she whimpered, soaking my chin as she fucked my face. “Your tongue…” She couldn’t finish her sentence as my tongue circled her clit, pressing it flat the way I knew she liked it. The way I knew would make her come. “Yes…”

  Her body shuddered as she lost control, head falling back, auburn waves tumbling over delicate shoulders. Rosy nipples stiffened further into tight peaks and begged for my attention, drawing my hands up. I twisted them as she rode out the wave of her orgasm, small moans continuing to leave her hot little mouth.

  When her head dropped back down, her glazed brown eyes met mine. “That felt so good. The best yet.”

  “I don’t think so,” I teased, grinning. “The best is yet to come.”

  She laughed, the sound pure and carefree. I loved it. It made me want to do anything for her.

  Well, almost anything.

  “She said what?”

  Silence.

  Nate crossed an ankle over one knee, surveying me. This was the longest he’d ever gone without saying a word. I wished he would just fucking say something. He tapped a finger against his chin. “You’re thinking about doing it.”

  “No, I’m not.”

  “Bullshit,” he countered, his leg bouncing on repeat. “You totally fucking are.”

  I bolted from the chair, scraping a hand through my dark blond waves. “Shit. Okay, maybe I am. Am I crazy?” As my feet wore a hole in the carpet, I added, “It’s just that I like the idea of making her happy, and, you know, getting her worked up…” I glanced over at Nate’s smug expression. “She seems to be really into it.”

  Nate made a square with his fingers as if looking through a lens. “You with another guy. I’m not picturing it exactly. Okay, I remember you were kind of obsessed with Tyler Hudson in high school, but…” He had to bring him up, didn’t he? Of course he did. Because Nate was not only my roommate, he was my best friend and had known me longer than anyone. “You do know what this means, right? Don’t get me wrong, my brother-in-law is gay, and if that’s what floats your boat, I’m all for it. But I’ve known you since you were eight years old, and, to be honest, I’m a bit shocked you’re considering it.” He wiped what looked like sweat from his temple and my eyes followed the path of his fingers.

  “Why are you sweating? I’m the one contemplating this.”

  He grinned. “I’m sweating for you.” Angling his head, he assessed me again. “I’m still having a hard time fathoming this.”

  “Join the club.” I huffed out a breath. “But, it would only be one time. For her.”

  “That’s what they all say,” he teased, tossing a pillow at my head.

  “So I need your help.” I tried to give him a face that didn’t look like I was fucking begging. “A small favor.”

  “Oh, no.” He moved his head emphatically from left to right. “Don’t turn those baby blues on me. There is no way I’m doing that with you. Marissa would kill me.”

  I glared at him. “Not you, idiot. I found some guy online. His videos were private but the feedback was top-notch. We chatted back and forth a bit because I needed to make sure he was on the up and up. But still, I wanted to see if you might hook me up with a ride over there. You know I get kind of paranoid.”

  “I see.” Nate rose from the couch, rubbing a hand over his chin as he surveyed me. “So you went from not thinking about doing this…to having something set up already.” He smirked. “Yeah, I suppose I can do that for you.”

  “Thanks, Nate. I owe you one.”

  He made a clucking sound with his tongue. “I’ll just add it to your ongoing list.”

  As Nate steered into the apartment complex across town, I tried to ignore whatever was happening in my gut, choosing to stare down at my clothing instead. We blended into the night, both of us wearing black jackets, black t-shirts, and jeans. “I feel like we’re on some sort of stealth mission.”

  Nate turned to me as he shifted into park. “Yeah, we’re on a mission all right. A mission to get you laid.” He chuckled. “The things I do for you.”

  Streams of light filtered in through the window, highlighting the amusement on his face. I’m glad he thought this was so funny. But maybe that’s just what I needed.

  “Yes, I’m aware of your selfless loyalty,” I joked, climbing out of the car.

  Any laughter was cut short as we headed toward the entrance of the building. I made sure to keep talking. It was the only thing preventing me from turning around and hightailing it out of here. This is for Willow, I kept reminding myself. Curiosity had nothing to do with it. Memories of Tyler, his crooked smile, and those big brown eyes also had nothing to do with it. This was simply because I wanted to make her happy. Okay, yeah, and turn her on. Plus, it would only be this one time.

  Nate stopped just outside of the double glass doors, trying but failing to keep a straight face. “I’ll be in the car.”

  “In the car?” I choked out.

  He rocked on his heels, grinning. “Just holler if you need me to come rescue you.” He tapped the pocket of his jacket where he kept his cell phone. “I’ll be there in a jiff.”

  “You got jokes. I appreciate that.”

  Nate walked away and I stared at him like he was my last shred of hope—for what I didn’t know. Alone, I stood there questioning my actions. The fact that I’d found someone online was so out of character for me. But what was I gonna do? Walk openly into a bar and pick up a random guy? That definitely wasn’t me either. I exhaled a shaky breath and turned toward the elevator, trying to convince myself there was no reason to be nervous. I could back out at any time.

  Except I was moving forward.

  Taking one last glance in Nate’s direction, I stepped onto the car. Still, disbelief hovered over me like a shadow.

  Was I really going to do this?

  Even as the doors closed, I remained frozen for several seconds before pushing the four on the keypad harder than necessary. My heart raged in my chest and I couldn’t tell if it was from nerves or excitement. If I was honest, maybe it was a little of both. But then the elevator began to ascend. Mirrored walls enticed me to look at them, but I didn’t want to see my reflection, afraid I’d change my mind. Instead, I squeezed the scrap of paper in my hand and watched the numbers climb, willing them to slow down.

  As the four lit up on the panel and the doors slid open, I released my anxiety in a big breath that didn’t help the least fucking bit. One foot in front of the other, I managed my way out of the car though my feet dragged. They were like lead as I shuffled down the hall, glancing at the paper to meet my fate—4F. I wondered if the F was intentional.

  Sweat built up on my palms and I rubbed them against my jeans. With a quick exhale, I knocked on the door while continuing to question myself and my presence here. Seconds crawled
by, and when no one answered, I huffed out my relief and started the trek back to the elevator.

  “Hey.”

  A deep voice stopped me and I debated whether I should turn around or keep walking. Willow won out and I shifted to face the guy leaning against the doorframe, arms folded over his chest.

  “Yeah, hi.”

  He smirked like he had some big secret. “Do you want to come in?” I didn’t answer right away because I was too busy noticing how normal he looked. Brown hair, cropped on the sides, longer in the front. A black Henley paired with blue jeans and Chucks. I wasn’t sure what I expected, but he definitely wasn’t it. “Listen, I haven’t got all day. I’m kind of a busy guy.”

  There were so many responses to that statement I wasn’t sure where to begin. But I left it alone, especially since I was fucking standing here. “Yeah.”

  Another smirk. He didn’t go inside though. He waited for me to get closer. His eyes were all over me, roaming my body as if he was thinking about me naked or something. It made me fucking uncomfortable and I shoved my hands in my pockets, maintaining eye contact so he didn’t realize how nervous I was. At six-foot-one and not lacking in muscle tone, I could certainly hold my own. But the way he was leering at me made me feel small, even though we looked to be about the same height. And those eyes. They were crazy. Like so freaking green. As if he could see right through me.

  I strolled into his apartment, and again, it appeared completely normal. Didn’t look like a sex palace or anything. Just a few expensive-looking couches, a glass coffee table, and some camera equipment. I swallowed hard at the sight, shifting on my feet.